i dreamt that i died

I dreamt that i died


I was happy. I feel happy. In my dream it felt like everyone finally acknowledged my existence. My voice was finally heard when i died.

I wrote a farewell letter but i dont know what was inside. Maybe its a thank you note. Thank you for all the positive things i wish i felt existed.maybe its a letter of advice. To anyone who feels bullied, its ok to feel sad and its ok to think of the easy escape. I beg for everyone to at least listen if you dony want to understand. It so much hurts i wish i didnt taste life.

I can write now because my logic can still reason over my emotion. I wish reason can reason my emotion.

I wish i were strong to die. I wish it was easy to die

I am writing this is my sane interval. I am so depressed right now but i cant point the reason.
 I wanted to make a shoe nga mura ug shark. I felt down kay wala koy magamit nga panghimo. I tried to watch tv but it made me sadder seeing a family sa palabas. I wish i were the kid. I wish i knew how gladness felt like. I had accomplished things that common people think are great. I wish i knew how it feels like when someone is proud of you. Bisag naa lay muattend sa graduation. Gituyo nako dili mag marcha atong college kaya feeling nako wala muadto parehas atong high school ug elementary

I self diagnosed nga naa koy manic depressive disorder. I tried to seek help multiple times. Everyone of them were dumb. I wish i didnt know that suicide is not the answer. It would have made everything better. It would have made the pain go away. I wish i could escape from the pain. I wish i could escape from myself